Time Management Self Improvement

I can’t help feeling that using the phrase ‘work/life balance‘ reinforces the problem it seeks to address. To describe a need to balance work and life implies that work is not part of ‘life’. If that’s the case then approx 50% of the average persons hours on earth are devoted to non-life - surely that’s dead.

People are not asking ‘how can I balance two opposing areas of existence?’, but ‘how can I live a holistic life; where all aspects of life co-exist and compliment each other and do not oppose each other?’ Balancing things puts them in opposing positions - we reinforce a problem as oppose to deal with it. We need integration not balance.

If you are living a non-integrated life then perhaps you need to make some major changes. Some escape home by going to work and others escape work by going home. Some people feel like two different people. The person at work is not the person at home. If that’s the case, both your team and family are missing out. For some this is so extreme they keep the two parties at arms length. They feel that if the two meet there will be some kind of implosion of realities and life will end. Actually - it’s at that point that life begins.

I believe it is my reasonability as a leader and employer to care for my team. Yes, we have goals, vision, dreams and commitments - but they are meaningless if we destroy lives, demoralize people and deny children their parents input.

Leaders lead people not projects. If we do not care for our people they will not stay around.

Southwest Airlines (the most successful airline in the world!) has some ways they help people live integrated lives. How do they do this? Their office corridors are lined with photos of team members’ families, wedding photos - they even have an area devoted to pets. Their people don’t leave. They are committed to the business because the business is committed to them

I suggest that we need to focus on integrating all aspects of life and not attempt to balance them out. People will happily work overtime to meet a deadline when they know there is a commitment to them as a person coming back.

Steve Holloway is the founding leader of a registered charity with a team of 40+. He is also a professional speaker & author - for more information see Generous Leadership

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In his book, The Future of Success, former Clinton cabinet member Robert Reich rails about how everyone–and he means EVERYONE–can be found struggling today to do more, be more, cram more in. For workers this means embracing the belief they cannot stop for a moment’s rest at their jobs for fear of ending up getting downsized away. For parents this means a 17-year-plus commitment to make sure their kids all make it into college (and that said bills get paid), and for kids themselves it means squeezing in all those extras so vital to their future, like soccer, music lessons, 2nd and/or 3rd language classes, extra-credit homework.

The result of this, Reich asserts, has been that each one of us, no matter what our station in life, no longer has time to smell bagels, let alone coffee or the flowers. We have “no time, no poetry, no realizations in (our) lives.” What we do sniff, he adds, is the “smell of resignation.” Among young people, this means tuning out the whole scene and virtually bagging the idea of success. Among many adults, it makes for a mid-life crisis questioning whatever success has heretofore been achieved. .
Is Reich correct? Are we as a society in fact now so time-squeezed that our “vital” work/school pressures threaten to devour us whole? Worse, perhaps they’ve already devoured us and we don’t even realize it!

Various studies of late have borne this out, of course: The typical number of hours worked on the job today compares unfavorably with the same time-measurement 20, 30 or 40 years ago. This finding seems to get borne out in survey after survey and industry after industry, again and again. The great long-voiced promise that technology will free us up for personal development, leisure, fun, etc., shortening our workweeks, and make work itself on the job so much easier, apparently had come to land with a deafening thud.

It’s an old adage that rings true particularly well here: Work expands to fill the time. We humans got a knack for filling up our hours, no matter how many laborsaving devices we whip off the drawing board to afford us time to do “fun” things. Yet we keep filling such liberated hours with more drudge.

In the face of such an onslaught, how can we bring poetry back? Is Reich’s lament our inevitable sad, unstoppable song?

Fortunately, the solution is simple, simpler than at first meets the eye. Reverse the tide now by looking up from this page (now!) and gazing out your window. Yes, we’re talking daydream here. Right now. Now! Lose yourself. Be idle. Do gasp! nothing.

(Pause while you do so.)

(Pause again while you REALLY do so.)

OK, for that briefest moment, you took ownership of your time and your life. You probably made up a poem of some kind right there in that moment, whether you realized it or not. You absorbed some beauty, grasped it, felt its core.

You made time for poetry.

Ken Lizotte CMC is Chief Imaginative Officer (CIO) of emerson consulting group inc. (Concord, MA), which transforms consultants, law firms, executives and companies into “thoughtleaders.” This article is an excerpt from his newest book “Beyond Reason: Questioning Assumptions of Everyday Life”.

Visit ==>www.thoughtleading.com for more info.

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We are constantly bombarded daily with requests for our
time. While helping others can be very rewarding, at the
same time we can feel distraught about constantly obligating
ourselves to others while not fulfilling our own needs. We
can feel distressed about constant commitments to do things
we simply don’t have the time, energy or desire to do.

At times, we may immediately feel the urge to say no, but
instead lose our courage, and concede yet again. The
question is why? Is it because:

* You fear you won’t be liked or feel a strong need to please
everyone

* You have to always keep the calendar full so you feel
needed and important

* You undervalue the need for down time and forget simply
not wanting to do anything is a legitimate reason to say no

* You would rather not deal with the consequences of
saying no and all the feelings that come with it.

Setting boundaries and saying no is taking personal
responsibility for your well-being. This requires you to
clearly speak up, and specifically ask for what you want.
Your decision to say no to requests from family, friends, and
co-workers doesn’t have to be filled with feelings of
uneasiness and guilt. It fact, it’s important you remember the
decision to say no is strictly a personal choice - yours!

Whether at work, with family, or friends, you can say no with
diplomacy, tact, and respect. Here some ways you can
embrace your personal power and assert your right to say
no.

Be sure you have all the facts

Before making a commitment, be sure you have a complete
understanding of exactly what’s being asked of you. You
may feel confused because you just don’t have enough
information to make a decision. You have the right to ask as
many questions as necessary.

Ask yourself “Is this a unreasonable request?”

When someone makes a request, he or she is usually tuned
into “WIIFM” (What’s In It For Me). People are not
necessarily concerned with whether or not a request is in
your best interest. If you feel hesitant, trapped or otherwise
uncomfortable - go with your gut and say no. These uneasy
feelings probably indicate saying yes isn’t best.

Take Your Time

There is no law that says you have to immediately obligate
yourself to someone when asked. Take your time before you
make a final decision. Simply say “I need time to think about
this. I’ll get back to you.”

Set goals

Setting your goals will make it easier to say no. Establishing
priorities makes it easy to decide how much time you can
devote to others without sacrificing your own needs. You
will be more comfortable declining requests that conflict with
your priorities.

Speak up - without excuses or apologies

When you have all the facts and decide say no, say no
calmly and firmly. An assertive tone of voice, body
language, and eye contact lets others know you are serious
and definite in your decision.

Don’t be meek. Say no directly without excuses. Excuses
make you appear as if you aren’t in control of your
decisions. If you say “I’m sorry but” this only weakens
your stand. If you have decided saying yes is not in your
best interest, no apology is necessary.

What if they won’t take no for an answer?

If someone won’t take no for an answer, repeat your
position. Maintain your stand and don’t allow yourself to be
manipulated or strong armed. No means no and you have
the right to stand by your choice.

Feel good about your decision to say no

Feel calm, confident, and comfortable with your decision to
say no. Be secure knowing it’s enough to say no simply
because you just don’t want to.

Remember, learn how to say no is a win-win situation for
everyone.

Joy Fisher-Sykes is a professional speaker, author, and
success coach in the areas of leadership, motivation, stress
management, customer service, and team building. You can
e-mail her at mailto:jfsykes@thesykesgrp.com, or call her at
(757) 427-7032. Go to her web site,
http://www.thesykesgrp.com, and signup for her newsletter,
OnPoint, and signup for the newsletter, OnPoint, and receive
the free ebook, “Empowerment and Stress Secrets for the
Busy Professional.”

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