Time Management Self Improvement

Time. There never seems to be enough.

There are relationship, career, personal interest, family and social demands all screaming for attention in our life. Each of us has the same amount of time available to us as we begin a new day. Twenty-four hours to use or abuse as we see fit.

This is not an article about time management. Time management is a misnomer. You can’t manage time. Time passes oblivious to your needs, desires, problems, goals, expectations and dreams. You can only manage a variety of activities and attitudes within a framework of passing time. Well, if we can’t manage time, what can we manage. We can manage our resources, decisions, thoughts, expectations, problems, people, failures, activities, successes, risks, feelings, goals, money, emotions and a whole host of attitudes.

Let’s get to the heart of the issue. Many people live with daily frustration unable to manage some or all of the items on the previous list effectively. They are anxious, troubled and often angry at the relentless passage of time that is insensitive to their wishes, demands, frustrations and goals.

Many of these people feel stuck, have given up, or have settled, thinking, this is just the way it is, and has to be. They see themselves as a pawn to the demands and expectations to one or more areas of their life therefore, robbing themselves of the pleasure and happiness that is available to everyone who have learned to live with balance.

These people are out of balance, and they know it. They are puppets on a string waiting for the next tug that pulls them this way or that. They feel like their life is out of control. They feel stuck. They see themselves with very few options. They don’t realize that the choices they make, or have made in the past, determine their next options. Poor choices in the present, equal limited better future options. Yes, we all, always have choices, but if these choices are made with a narrow vision of what can be, an unclear picture of reality, or clouded perceptions and interpretations of people and circumstances, they will always be made with limited resources and understanding.

These people remain stuck. Some have moved on in some area of their life, but they still feel unable to shed the feelings of anxiety that there is more to do, more to become, more to have, and more to learn, and not enough time to do it.

There are several major areas in a persons life that demand a portion of their available time. They are: family, career or business, social, personal development, spiritual development, physical development, personal interests or hobbies, friends, misc.. social activities, and let’s not forget time to sleep and eat.

Is it possible to live a balanced life? Is it possible to satisfy the expectations either from ourselves our or world, on how we should be using our time? Is it possible to have it all? Become it all? Do it all? See it all? Learn it all? Read it all? No, it’s not that kind of world.

So we are back to choosing. How each of us chooses to use or spend our time is a very individual matter. Juggling the expectations of a boss, customers, a spouse, children, parents, friends, siblings, and the world in general is a difficult and delicate task at best. No one has an answer, or easy formula to this very difficult life issue. You will not find an answer in this article. What I hope you will find, however is some insight or self-discovery as to why you are feeling as you are and the courage to modify any behavior or attitudes that are sabotaging one or several areas of your life.

You may have noticed that when one area of your life is out of harmony or balance that it impacts every other areas as well. When you are devoting too much time (and only you know what is too much) to your career, every other aspect of your life is impacted. Every aspect of your life is intricately entwined with every other area. If you choose to devote no time to your personal growth, you will lack skill, understanding or wisdom that could contribute positively to some other aspect of your life. By the same token, if you spend time regularly relaxing or meditating, it could help you find the patience or calmness that you will bring to your career or family issues.

Why do people get out of balance?

There are a number of causes that include but are not limited to:

unrealistic goals or a lack of goals, lack of planning, a need for approval and/or acceptance, inadequate personal growth, over estimation of abilities or skills, the inability to say no, the desire to please, lack of discipline, arrogance, greed, insensitivity, lack of spiritual development, un-managed ambition, the need for power, un-checked egos, lack of commitment and a lack of congruence or integrity. Hefty list. I would guess that everyone who is out of balance in their life is guilty of several of these. However, it only takes one.

Being out of balance in life doesn’t feel good. We often feel like the special people in our lives are being cheated. What you might not realize is that you may from time to time cheat your children, friends or a spouse, but you are always cheating yourself when no matter where you are, who you are with or what you are doing, you wish you were with someone else or doing something else.

Life is lived in the present, one moment at a time. It is not lived yesterday or tomorrow, but now. Every time you make a decision to spend time in a certain way, like passing time reading this article, you have eliminated all other choices of time use now. Once you decide to go to a movie, you have eliminated the options of dinner, dancing, golf and so on. Once you decide to work late you have chosen to sacrifice something else. I don’t mean to be funny, but you can’t be in two places at once. You can’t be on vacation and at work too, although many people try. Once you choose one restaurant for dinner you have eliminated all others for that meal.

People need to understand that they have choices, and that the choices they make, and the consequences that come with them are a part of the bargain. Frustration sometimes sneaks into people’s lives when they believe it is possible to break the rules and have it all, do it all or become it all.

You chose your career and life path. You chose your current relationship. You chose your current circumstances by the previous choices you have made. You made them for you. Even if you are in a career that was chosen for you by your parents (and that happens less and less today, than years ago) you have chosen to stay in it even if you are unhappy. You have given the power in your life over to someone else.

If you rationalize that you have to work eighty hours a week and weekends because your boss or organization expects it, you have given up your power to someone else. Then you might say, but I need this job or career. I need the money. No, you have chosen to need it. You could have chosen a different more modest lifestyle that would have required less income. You may feel like you are stuck in a relationship emotionally, physically or financially. Again I doubt that anyone forced you into it. You may have gone into it with closed eyes, but you chose to keep your eyes closed. Like it or not in every situation in life you are where you are because of your choices. Want a better life? Make different choices.

I would like to share fifteen ideas with you that may help you put balance back into your life, so that you can find time for the people and goals in your life that are possibly being shortchanged, including yourself.

One- Spend some quiet time reflecting on the quality of your life in general. Not just a single area, but consider every aspect, and the relationship of each to your overall life.

Two- Make a list of all the areas or people in your life that are coming up short and why.

Three- Determine which area of your life is getting most of your time and energy, and which is getting the least. Ask yourself why. Is the gain in one area worth paying the price of a loss in another area? Only you can answer that question, and only you will pay the price or enjoy the rewards.

Four- Write a letter to yourself about how you would like your life to look like six months from now. Describe in detail how you spend your time, and what proportions of time are dedicated to the various activities and people in your life.

Five- Give yourself at least thirty minutes a day for thirty days to reflect on your overall life goals and your progress toward them.

Six- Write a personal mission statement. Include your life philosophy, guiding principals, desired outcomes and overall direction you want your life to take.

Seven- Move ahead mentally to age 70. What have you accomplished, what do your relationships look like, who have you become and what is important to you. Now work backwards. What do you need to change now to get where you say you want to be. Remember, you change the quality of your future in the present.

Eight- Ask several people who know you well, and will be honest and non judgmental, to offer some feedback on your life and its direction. Listen and learn with an open and receptive attitude. You may not change because of the feedback they give you, but the insight you gain can give you some ideas that could be life changing.

Nine- Take a few days off from your job, career and/or current relationships. Spend time in a place that you are at peace and alone. It could be the beach, the mountains or anywhere where you can spend quality time with yourself evaluating your life without the distractions and expectations of others. Go with no agenda other than self-discovery.

Ten- If you do not keep a journal of your thoughts, lessons learned, life progress, feelings, interests, or observations, start one today. Take a few minutes at the end of each day recording whatever you feel in some way contributed to who you are, how you feel, and who you are becoming.

Eleven- Develop an action plan to begin to re-allocate your time and energy to those people or activities that are important to you.

Twelve- It isn’t necessary to sell your business, quit your job or end a relationship to find better balance in your life. It requires a conscious awareness of what your life is really like, a desire to modify it in some way, the courage to change, the necessary skills and the commitment to stick with it.

Thirteen- Learn to detach from other people’s emotional and or physical hold over you. It will not be easy. There will be people who use blame, guilt, manipulation or any number of emotional or physical techniques to keep you stuck in past behavior or thought patterns. They will know how to push your buttons hoping to control you in some way. When you permit others to manipulate you in any way, you give them power over your life. Detachment means letting go of the hold other people have over you. You can still love them and want to be with them, but you no longer have to be a slave to their “stuff.”

Fourteen- Don’t try and change everything over-night. It takes time to change attitudes and behavior that have developed over the years. Be patient and loving with yourself. But you must also hold yourself accountable. Letting yourself off the hook or making excuses will not put you on the road back to a balanced life.

Fifteen- reward your successes. Treat yourself when you achieve a “worked for” result. Make it something symbolic or significant, but whatever it is make sure you take time to bask in the sunshine of success. Then begin again. Don’t spend too much time basking, or you may fall back into your old habits. Change, permanent change requires vigilance and persistence. You can’t let up until you have achieved total and permanent success. It will always be possible to fall back, so even though you have reached your goal, don’t become too casual or relaxed. There will be new people and circumstances lurking in the shadows for a vulnerable moment. Be watchful.

None of these steps may be easy. Only you can decide if the potential outcome of more balance and inner peace are worth the price that must be paid. Don’t change because of guilt, other people’s expectations, or some casual or superficial whim. If you like working seventy hours a week and seeing your kids once a month for a few hours. Fine. If you want to change, that’s fine too. But do it for healthy emotional or physical reasons not ego-driven motives.

One final thought.

Total balance in life is an ideal. There will always be times when you may be temporarily out of balance devoting extra time to a new career, project, relationship or activity. This is healthy and normal, however be on the lookout that these times don’t stretch into years or decades. It is then that you may end up paying the heavy price of regret in one area of your life. Regret weighs tons, but the daily discipline of change weighs only ounces.

Which are you willing to pay?

Tim Connor, CSP is an internationally renowned sales, relationship, management and leadership speaker, trainer and best selling author. Since 1981 he has given over 3500 presentations in 21 countries on a variety of sales, management and relationship topics. He is the best selling author of over 60 books including; He can be reached at tim@timconnor.com, 704-895-1230 or visit his website at http://www.timconnor.com.

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When it comes to good time management most people automatically think of their work and their professional life, but studies show that many people waste a tremendous amount of time in their personal life. By identifying and dealing with the time wasters in your personal life you can help manage your time better in your professional life.

Most of us can’t help but feel overwhelmed by the pressures and demands of work and home. After you tend to your spouse, children, pets, housework, lawn maintenance, presentations, and reports, what little leftover time you find is usually reserved for friends. Time alone is practically nonexistent.

Because there are only 24 hours in a day, many of us need a little help in determining how to manage our responsibilities within that infinite time frame. According to many time-management experts, it’s not the vast amount of activities we have that keeps us running perpetually behind; it’s the small chunks of wasted time that gobble up the day.

The first thing to remember when it comes to good time management is that you are the only person who can decide when you’re not using your time effectively. Sometimes you don’t consciously make that decision; it’s made for you by your tired body. If that is the case, heed the call. Your body is probably telling you to slow down.

Realistic goals are vital to good time management. Expectations are a time management killer. Your aim should be to feel good, not to do more. For example, sometimes you expect to get a lot done on the weekend, but when you don’t accomplish everything you set out to do, you feel frustrated. Instead of trying to do it all, try to do one thing. Make that your goal.

Another way to start gaining control of your time is to become aware of how you currently spend it. A good first step in learning how to manage your time is to start keeping a log of daily activities. Use a calendar for this purpose, so you can get an idea of how you typically let time get away from you. This will give you a solid basis upon which to formulate strategies to spend your time more effectively.

Through my seminars and consulting over the years I have dealt with thousands of people. My experiences with people have allowed me to identify some of the common time wasters that many people deal with in their personal life. While, realistically, we can’t avoid these things, we can reduce their impact on our lives.

The telephone acts as lifeline to the world, but its presence can also be disruptive. Learn to cut back on your use of the phone. Answer it if you want to talk, but don’t answer out of obligation. If you do take a call, limit it to 15 minutes or less. Another way to reduce telephone time is to use it as an answering machine. If the telephone continues to be a problem, unplug it or if it’s your cell phone, turn it off. Just don’t forget to reconnect it or turn it back on when you’re ready to talk to the world again.

The television is a big source of wasted time. If you have children, the concept of television rationing is probably not unfamiliar to you. Practice what you preach, turn off the television if you can’t afford distractions. Physically remove yourself from the room if you have to. Or, if you do decide to watch, try to do something else at the same time, such as paying a bill or letter writing. Remember, when you are watching television to avoid doing something else, it has become a time waster for you.

Next, examine how much time you spend in the car. Can you cut down that time by using alternative means of transportation? Limiting your use of the car is not only a time saver; it also makes sense economically and environmentally. Join a car pool, or take public transportation. You can read or listen to the radio while you’re taking a bus or subway to work, turning time previously spent on driving into precious free time.

Another big time waster that you have to get control over is trivia. This includes the time you spend doing housework, and running errands. If you can learn to streamline these activities, you can make your time much more effective.

To gain control over the time you spend doing housework and general property maintenance I suggest that you use a cleaning and maintenance schedule. You should reserve certain activities for a particular day of the week. For example, clean the bathroom on Saturdays, but do the not-so-critical items every other week. Also, limit the amount of time you spend running errands.

Shopping can also be a big drain on your time. First of all, you have to get in the habit of making shopping lists for grocery and other items. Lists will help you to avoid last-minute, emergency runs to the store. Then plan to shop during a convenient, hassle-free time in your day.

For example, try to avoid supermarkets during the weekends when they’re the most crowed and instead pick an evening during the week to shop when it’s less crowed. If you have trouble finding time for grocery shopping then try buying in bulk

Anticipating the gifts you will need to purchase for different events during the year instead of waiting until just before a holiday or birthday can save you a lot of time shopping. For example, buy presents and cards for friends and relatives whenever you happen to come across something that is appropriate.

I cannot emphasize strong enough how important list-making is as a time-management tool. Lists are an invaluable aid in reducing mental clutter. A list not only reminds you of what you need to do, but it also helps you to prioritize the day. If you’re serious about saving time you must get in the habit of making lists.

Everyone enjoys a surprise visit from a friend, but if these visits cease to be pleasurable and venture toward annoying, you have to learn to be direct. Tell your friend that he or she has come at a bad time. You can often soften your words a little and invite him or her in for a few minutes, but make it clear that you aren’t available for a long visit. If your friends have resorted to drop-by visits because they never see you, work them into your schedule. Plan to meet for lunch or play tennis during the weekend.

Waiting is an area where many people feel that they waste the most time. There’s not a whole lot you can do to reduce waiting time. Perhaps the best method of passing empty moments is to enjoy them. Get in the habit of carrying reading material or a portable CD player with you. When you read or listen to something educational that will help you improve your life in some way it is always time well spent.

Difficult tasks and assignments create mental blocks for many people. To unlock mental blocks you should break down the project into smaller, more manageable parts. Then start working on it, piece by piece.

You can learn to manage your time so life is more than a race to finish your tasks and meet obligations before the end of the day. Take the time to sit down and analyze your typical day, then make a list of your time wasters. Concentrate on one or two items, and see if you can create more time to do the things you enjoy. By wasting less time, you’ll feel better about you and that’s to everyone’s benefit.

Copyright©2006 by Joe Love and JLM & Associates, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide.

Joe Love draws on his 25 years of experience helping both individuals and companies build their businesses, increase profits, and achieve total success. He is the founder and CEO of JLM & Associates, a consulting and training organization, specializing in personal and business development. Through his seminars and lectures, Joe Love addresses thousands of men and women each year, including the executives and staffs of many businesses around the world, on the subjects of leadership, achievement, goals, strategic business planning, and marketing. Joe is the author of three books, Starting Your Own Business, Finding Your Purpose In Life, and The Guerrilla Marketing Workbook.

Reach Joe at: joe@jlmandassociates.com

Read more articles and newsletters at: http://www.jlmandassociates.com

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There is one common denominator with all people - both successful and unsuccessful and that is the amount of time they have available to them in an hour, a day and a life. Yes, some people have more years than others, but no one has more than 60 seconds or 24 hours. Fret as you will, about what you don’t have time for or are going to do someday and you will do so needlessly. One of the biggest outcomes for people who feel they never have enough time is their high stress level. (By the way, un-managed stress will kill you.)

There are books on time management, seminars on time management, time management coaches etc etc etc. problem is these resources can’t get you more time. So, what can you do?

-Recognize that your time use is a function of your attitudes about life in general.
-Accept the passage of time with grace.
-Know that there will not be enough to do everything - you gotta choose!
-Make wise, thoughtful and informed decisions.
-Know your typical time wasters.
-Know your time routines.
-Accept your limitations.
-Stay in the present moment as often as you can.
-Have specific goals and action plans for their accomplishment.

There are many more ideas. In my book, How to Sell More in Less Time I share hundreds of time management ideas and techniques (and not just for salespeople)

The key is to ask yourself some thought provoking questions such as:

-If I had more time, what would I do with it?
-Why don’t I have enough?
-Is something or someone preventing me from using my time wisely?
-Do I have a personal and career goals program that works for me?

See how many more questions you can come up with to get at the root of your time issues, problems or challenges. It will be well worth your time, trust me.

Tim Connor, CSP is an internationally renowned sales, management and leadership speaker, trainer and best selling author. Since 1981 he has given over 3500 presentations in 21 countries on a variety of sales, management, leadership and relationship topics. He is the best selling author of over 60 books including; Soft Sell, That’s Life, Peace Of Mind, 91 Challenges Managers Face Today and Your First Year In Sales. He can be reached at tim@timconnor.com, 704-895-1230 or visit his website at www.timconnor.com.

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